Photography: Harbor Point Yacht Club, West Alton Missouri

The Book of Awakening: January 3

The Book of Awakening:   Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have … by Mark Nepo

January 3

“Each person is born with an unencumbered spot – free of expectation and regret, free of ambition and embarrassment, free of fear and worry – an umbilical spot of grace where were each first touched by God.  It is this spot the Psychologists call Psyche, theologians call it the Soul, Jung calls it the Seat of the Unconscious, Hindu masters call it Atman, Buddhists call it Dharma, Rilke calls it Inwardness, Sufis call it Qaib, and Jesus calls it the Center of our Love.

To know this spot … is to know who we are … by feeling our place in relation to the Infinite and by inhabiting it.”

I have been very conscious of this unencumbered spot my entire life, it has exerted a pull on both my conscious and unconscious mind for as long as I can remember.  From my earliest childhood I have always had an acute awareness of this spot and endeavored to identify its nature.   This is not to say that I am on a higher spiritual level for this awareness and all of my endeavors.  Quite the contrary, I spent most of my life battling with myself in this spot,  in fear of what I would find if I spent too much time in that spot, in fear of having to recognize all the unskillful means I had employed throughout my life, in fear of the changes I knew I would be compelled to make if I seriously listened to what I already knew.

My entire life has been a spiritual journey, with “spiritual” being defined as “in relation to my personal relationship with and to the Universe”.  Again, this is not to be interpreted as any kind of evidence that I am a highly evolved spiritual being; I may be more evolved spiritually than some,  but I am most definitely less evolved spiritually than many others.  It simply is meant to relate the fact that I am very aware of both my spiritual growth and my spiritual shortcomings.

In the reading for January 3 the reader is asked to reflect upon two things she enjoys doing that make her feel the most alive, the most connected to this unencumbered spot, and to further reflect upon what these two things have in common that produce this feeling.

I had three things come to mind almost immediately: meditation, awareness/communion with the natural world, and doing for others.  It is during the practice of these things that I feel the most alive, the most connected to the unencumbered spot within me, the most connected to the Infinite.

At first these things appeared to have little to nothing in common with each other, but upon further reflection it soon became abundantly clear what traits they share.  In the course of all three of these activities I lose, to varying degrees, my sense of self as an individual.

When I meditate, and I am by no means a master of this art, I have brief moments of complete clarity.  During these moments of clarity I no longer feel confined by or attached to my physical form.  I no longer feel confined by or attached to my mental formations, my thoughts.  I no longer feel confined by or attached to the other beings in my life.  I no longer feel confined by or attached to the physical and natural world around me. Likewise, I no longer feel detached or separated from my physical form, my mental formations, the other beings in my life, the physical and natural world around me.  In those little moments of clarity I am one with all, but not defined by any. 

I have moments of this same clarity when I truly commune with the natural world and simply let all that nature has to offer engulf me.  In these moments, whether I am walking down a city street picking out the sound of the birds chirping and leaves rustling in the wind amid the sounds of traffic; or whether I am deep in the forest totally engulfed by nature with the sounds of civilization too far away to hear, I encounter that same sense of oneness.

Likewise when I am doing for others I have the same experience.  Even simple acts such as getting a cup of coffee for my love can, and more often than not do, bring me to that unencumbered spot, to a place of oneness, peace and understanding.

It is my belief that what these things have in common is not as important as what I bring to the proverbial table when I participate in these activities.  I fully believe that this sense of clarity, this oneness can be achieved regardless of what I am doing; it is merely a matter of practice.  When I participate in these particular activities I expect to experience this awareness, and I do achieve this awareness (to varying degrees and for varying lengths of time) because I have practiced doing so.  If I want to experience this awareness more often and for longer periods of time, I need to practice more often.

Meditation, for me, is the means of practice that has yielded the most consistent results and allowed me to experience this awareness, this oneness on a more frequent basis.  However, I do not practice as regularly as I once did, and I have become a bit stagnant on my journey to full awareness, enlightenment.

I have, over the past couple of years, allowed myself to get distracted from my goal by my own mental formations/thoughts, and to stray from my practice.  The exercise of reading this book and reflecting upon all that it asks of me is one of the methods I am using to help get myself back in the habit of a regular spiritual practice. 

Photography: Nag Champa

I have always enjoyed photography, and am trying to spend more time in creative mode.  Here are some images I took today, just a few in a series called Nag Champa.

The Book of Awakening: January 2

The Book of Awakening:   Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have … by Mark Nepo

January 2

“It’s such a simple thing, but in a moment of ego we refuse to put down what we are carrying in order to open the door.  Time and time again, we are offered the chance to truly learn this:  We cannot hold on to things and enter.  We must put down what we carry, open the door, and then take up only what we need to bring inside”

I have been spending the past few days meditating on what it is that I need to let go of in order to breach any of the thresholds upon which I currently find myself.  I have found this to be a much more difficult task than I expected.

While reflecting on this I couldn’t help but notice some small irony to the fact that when it comes to material possessions I do not hold on to anything.  I am the complete opposite of a packrat, giving away or throwing away all but the most necessary and/or prized possessions.  I have very little attachment to 99% of my personal belongings.  Apparently, however, I am extremely attached to my non-material possessions, most of which are nothing more than excess baggage weighing me down and holding me back!  I have to laugh at the stupidity of it all!

I seem to be so attached to the things I should be letting go of, that I can hardly allow myself to consider the mere possibility of putting them down for even a short moment!  Why am I emotionally attached to my self-doubt and insecurities?  So attached, that thinking about leaving them behind fills me with defensiveness and a dread that just makes no sense!?!?

I clearly need to reflect on this one a bit more …

The Book of Awakening: January 1

The Book of Awakening:   Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have … by Mark Nepo

                                                   

January 1, 2010

“There is a Buddhist precept that asks us to be mindful of how rare it is to find ourselves in the human form on Earth … It asks us to understand that no other life form has the consciousness of being that we are privilege to.”

While I fully comprehend the point the author is trying to make, I was taken aback, as I always am, by the ego of the human species.   How do we know that we are the only life form that has “consciousness of being”?   How completely typical of the human species to think that we are then end all and be all of creation!

With that out of my system for a moment, I can and do fully appreciate my human form.  This form provides an excellent means for interacting with the environment in which we exist!  Being blessed with five fully functioning senses I can see the visual beauty of our planet, hear the songs of nature, physically feel the textures and temperatures of other forms, smell the aromas of the world and taste the delights of that is edible!

Being blessed with a mind that is capable of complex thought and awareness of both self and relationship of self to others I can spend wondrous hours contemplating upon any topic I so choose.  I can investigate myself and the world around me.  I can entertain fantastical theories on the universe and my place within it and set about seeking out proofs or contradictions to those theories.   Being human allows me to create these words I am currently typing; turning the formation of these ideas in my human brain into words on a computer screen that can be shared with others via the use of my two hands, each fully formed with four fingers and an opposable thumb!   Only because I am human can I read the book whose title appears above, and only because I am human can I process the words in that book and form ideas of my own based upon what I have read.

However, if I allow it to be, being human can be a great hindrance to my own personal growth, and it is that aspect of being human upon which I am compelled to reflect.

40 years of searching, seeking, studying, and growth have taught me that it is all too easy to drown in our own human being; to become so entirely domesticated* by the world around us that we fail to see ourselves, our options and often lose sight of who and what we really are.  For this reason I prefer to think of myself as “being human” rather than as “a human being”.

If I am “a human being” then I am a noun: a person, place or thing; an object or group of objects. Nouns simply exist; there is no motion, no action, no relationship in a noun.  Nouns are acted upon, nouns allow themselves to be moved by external forces of motion and action and only experience those force of motion and action via outside stimuli.

If I am “being human” then I am a verb.  Verbs are action, motion, relation, creation, stimulation, etc.  Verbs create, take the initiative and are responsible for their “verbness”.   Things do not happen to verbs, verbs are themselves the very act of happening.  Verbs experience the world around them through the verbness they create are therefore responsible for their own state of being; their own state of verbness.    My state of verbness can only be affected by own verbs, because I choose those verbs, and I am responsible for my own state of verbness.  In every situation in life, I have a responsibility to myself to choose the verb that best serves my personal growth. 

Because I have practiced cultivating my personal state of verbness for many years, when I recently lost my job I was able to immediately choose a state of verbness that would aid in a healthy and positive growth.   I am sure that those who fired me thought I was insane or dim-witted as I smiled and spoke light-heartedly to them during the firing process; but I was neither.  I was being human and utilizing the state of verbness that best suited my own personal harmony and growth.  Choosing to anger, to anathematize, to mourn or to weep the simple closing of a door would not have furthered my personal growth in any way.  It would have only led to needless negativity in a life that is truly a blessing. 

I am only human, and I have not fully mastered the art of skillfully choosing my state of verbness, so at the time I was fired it was not a natural reaction to smile, to love, to forgive, and to look forward joyfully at new possibilities.  The very first verbs that tried to invade my state of verbness - my being human- were to anger, to weep, to depress, but my years of cultivating more useful verbs kicked in rather quickly and I chose to love, to learn,  to forgive, and to be joyful.

I am being human the best way I know how, and in that being human I am always very aware of how blessed I am to be human.

In being human, with all of the senses, capacities, choices, and responsibilities that make humans seem so far apart from the other forms found on this planet,  I always find it peaceful and helpful to my personal growth to remind myself that I am not as removed from these others forms as it may appear.

I take every opportunity to commune with the natural world around me; I am a tree hugger, and a stone hugger, a star hugger and a grass hugger.  As this book suggested at the end of this reading I often commune with the world around me.  Anytime I feel too human, too disconnected from the universe, all I have to do is step outside and focus on nature, just sit quietly and observe nature with all five senses. 

See the beauty and dignity of the trees, so strong and tall despite all the turmoil that humans create around them.  Trees are verbs; they seem to always find a way to survive:  breaking through concrete to reach the sun;  enfolding cables and wires into their flesh; wearing the carved graffiti of humans with pride; growing in curving formations to avoid objects too large to enfold and grow over.  Trees can be a great source of inspiration when trying to choose the best state of verbness. 

Hear the sound of the wind and the water, a beautiful symphony of strength and determination.  Wind and water both flow through some objects without ever displacing those objects; other obstacles wind and water obliterate as they pass; yet others they flow around leaving them unharmed and standing.  Wind and water are also great sources of inspiration when trying to choose the best state of verbness.

Feel the grass under your feet; something so small and tender should surely perish under the weight of hundreds of trampling feet; yet grass thrives. The weight of our bodies press the grass flat to the ground, yet once we lift our foot the grass immediately begins to straighten up and stand tall once again.  Delicate, yet possessing an almost perfect inner strength, grass is tread upon and survives.  What a wonderful source of inspiration to humans trying to choose the best state of verbness!

In my being human I do appreciate how blessed I am to have been born into the human form, but I also appreciate that having the form of a tree, a stone, a bird, or a mountain comes with its own set of blessings that as a human I cannot fully comprehend.  As such I try to remind myself as often as possible how much I have in common with the other forms found in nature; I try to keep myself aware of how connected I really am to all forms of creation, and how all forms of creation of equally, albeit differently, blessed.

_______

* For more on the domestication of the human race read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

New Year ... New Blog

I bought myself a Kindle copy of The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have, by Mark Nepo.  It is set up as a daily devotional, and my game plan is to read these daily devotions and respond to them here in this blog.

This having been said, I do reserve the right to blog about any and all topics that I may deem worthy.  ~lol~

To differentiate between posts on the book mentioned above and random posts, I will always include the title of the book and the date of the devotional to which I am responding.  The date of the devotional will not always be the same as the actual date as I sometimes spend several days reflecting.